Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education

2011 MCAS
Grade 4 English Language Arts Composition
Topic/Idea Development - Score Point 5

A strong beginning paragraph leads the reader into this fully developed composition about a favorite teacher and a memorable experience. The writer’s skillful use of language helps the reader visualize the sights and sounds of Fenway Park. The voice of the writer and the logical organization takes the reader on a humorous tour. Sensory images such as “We found ourselves at the bottom of a very long staircase going up to the top of the stadium. Uh-oh, I thought. Did I mention that I’m scared of heights?” and “I felt like human Jell-O!” continue to provide mental pictures in this competent paper. Strong details prevail throughout: “Even outside you could hear us calling the names of the players…David Ortiz, SCORE…,” and we are left with the feeling of being there. Appropriate use of language brings the composition full circle as the words in the concluding paragraph echo the affectionate words written at the beginning, “Her laugh brightened up cloudy days and her smile always seemed a mile wide.”
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Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education