Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education

2011 MCAS
Grade 4 English Language Arts Composition
Topic/Idea Development - Score Point 4

This composition demonstrates a point-to-point recount of events, but it continues to keep the reader engaged throughout. While there are adequate, relevant details including “…when the gigantic duckboats came I knew [my teacher] had planned something special,” there are also many details which do not enhance the topic development. These details include the names of several students in a travel group and brand names of food eaten at lunch. There is some variety in language with sentences such as “Off to Beantown we go!”, but similes such as “…happy as a elephant with a peanut” do little to elevate this response.
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Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education