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Pattern of
Abusive
Physical
Verbal
Mental
or
Sexual
Behavior
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- Controlling
- Self protective
- Disrespectful of women and girls
- Denies,excuses,minimizes and sidetracks their abusive behavior
- Blames victim for the abuse
- Intimidates
- Claims ownership of partner
- Degrades partner
- Inconsistent, doesn't keep promises, unfaithful, lies
- Harassment or threatening toward females
- Possessive
- Manipulative, is nice on occasion, guilt tripping, is negative
- Makes accusations then retracts
- Discredits partner to others
- Quick fix mentality
- Doesn't want to change
- Violent
- No fear of consequences
- Engages in inappropriate physical contact with females
- Poor school attendance, numerous suspensions, academic problems
- Lack of empathy for victim
- Involvement with younger partners
- Pressures for sex
- Alcohol/Drug use
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- Minimizes frequency and severity of incident
- Blames victim and diverts attention to the victims behavior
- Denies incident or involvement in incident
- Focuses on their feelings as an excuse for abusive behavior
- Sees themselves as victim
- Cites good intentions for abuse
- Cites alcohol or drugs
- Blames other problems
- Claims loss of control
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Makes promises to change
Apologizes
Gives gifts
Gets into an intervention program
Temporarily stops alcohol or drug use
Is nice or considerate for awhile
Bargaining
Points out her problems
Gives ultimatums
Withholds affection, attention
Has multiple relationships
Makes threats toward others close to the victim
Uses friends to pressure victim back into the relationship or to spy on victim
Sets up sexual games
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- Build a working relationship
- Communicate with and monitor behavior weekly
- Acknowledge that getting help is positive
- Provide outside resources
- Work toward an understanding of abuse, sexual harassment, stalking, and rape
- Form short and long term goals
- Build an understanding of negative self talk and warning signs of abusive behavior
- Ask specifically about the violent behavior
- Ask about other controlling behavior
- Connect cause, effect and consequences
- Work on establishing positive values/identity
- Work on problem solving/decision making skills
- Work on substance abuse/gang prevention
- Work on safe and responsible decision making around sex activity
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State Government · State Services 
