Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
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2012 MCAS
Grade 10 English Language Arts Composition
Topic/Idea Development - Score Point 5

The complex and villainous nature of the character Voldemort in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is made clear in this fully developed composition. The writer follows the plot of the novel, selecting and expanding relevant details, and adding commentary to explain Voldemort's motives and character. In the introduction, he emerges as "a corrupt and evil wizard, who is incapable of feeling love." Eventually, the reader sees the nature and effects of Voldemort's sociopathic form of intelligence: "he made [Harry] feel ostracized and unwelcome in the only place he could call home, made him distance himself from his friends and took away the best father-figure he had." Development focuses largely on plot, but includes some insightful commentary, as at the end of the second body paragraph where the villain's "impact" is shown to be ironically positive: "The fear of Voldemort is strong enough to make Harry a leader and a teacher, a role he will fill for the rest of his life." Overall, the writing includes strong, relevant details that are logically organized, even if presented with some repetition, as in the conclusion.
Answer for Score Point 5
Answer for Score Point 5
Answer for Score Point 5
Answer for Score Point 5



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Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education