2016 MCAS
Grade 10 English Language Arts
Question 27 - Score Point 3

This response provides a mostly clear, complete, and accurate explanation of how the author creates suspense in both excerpts. The response begins by explaining how a description of the shark in Jaws builds suspense ("'the jaw, slack and smiling, armed with row upon row of serrate triangles'") and then examines the final line of the excerpt, which makes the reader wonder "what actually happened": "'the fish thrust again, and Hooper saw with the terror of doom that the mouth was about to reach him.'" Next the response notes that in "Swimming with Nightmares," the description of the cage ("'a flimsy cage in the frigid sea'") makes the reader wonder "if the cage is going to stay stable," while the description of the shark attack alludes to the increasing suspense: "'It seemed less an assault than an exploration, a testing. A tasting.'" Although relevant details from the text are included, the explanation of how these lines contribute to building suspense needs more elaboration and specificity for the response to be scored a 4. The first and last sentences that simply restate the question do not contribute to the student's overall score.