Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
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2018 MCAS
Grade 8 English Language Arts
Question 16

Idea Development - Score Point 4

In the narrative, the writer develops events from Keo's point of view and maintains this perspective throughout. Keo's understanding of Sonny is expressed in strong description and internal dialogue: "I hope that he could learn to be a little more adventurous because it doesn't do him any good to be frightened of everything." Well-selected details build mood and develop character; however, this level of detail is not sustained throughout, and the narrative ends abruptly: "I felt excited, but also at the same time nervous to have my cousin leave me for the first time in a while." There are places where details from the text could have been included or further expanded upon. Overall, the writer demonstrates full awareness of the writing task and the narrative mode

Standard English Conventions - Score Point 3

Sentence forms are varied and controlled. Correctness in sentence structure, grammar, usage, and mechanics supports clear development: "Later that day, I stood at the doorway and waved goodbye before watching them head off, looking content and happy to be with each other." Description is enhanced by control of sentence structure: "They strode into the house, so I decided to follow them, interested in what they were chatting about."
Answer for Idea Development Score Point 4, and Standard English Conventions Score Point 3
I was all by myself, I had nothing to do so I waited in the water with the waves crashing and forming a white foam against the firm rocks, while I relaxed on one of our big black tubes. I suddenly saw Sonny and his dad in a car not too far off in the distance, driving on the old beat-up road that lead to this small beach. 

I thought for a minute, and then deciding that I had nothing better to do, climbed out of my tube and swam to the deepest part to see if Sonny would actually join me. Most of the time he is too scared to come out this far into the water, but I still tried to convince him. 'What a scaredy cat', I thought to myself as he quietly stared at me on the edge of the shore.

[ 5 Points | 5 Points | 4 Points | 3 Points | 2 Points | 1 Point | 0 Points]

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Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education