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2018 MCAS
Grade 4 English Language Arts
Question 8

Idea Development - Score Point 4

The narrative is fully developed as it tells events from Polo's point of view. Details are effectively selected and incorporated into the dialogue to explain Polo's thinking and experience as is apparent in these sentences: "I deeply sniffed the carpet my wise brother called earth. 'It smells like . . . (I hesitated) flower pots.'" Ideas are expanded upon and clearly expressed in ways that reveal Polo's character; for example, "I shivered I do NOT like water[.] Most cats don't." The narrative is effectively organized and shows full awareness of the purpose for writing.

Standard English Conventions - Score Point 3

The narrative contains a variety of complex sentence structures with proper conventions. Minor errors in grammar such as "felt" instead of "feel" and punctuation errors within quotations do not interfere with understanding. Based on its length and complexity, the essay demonstrates consistent control of Standard English conventions for this grade level.
Answer for Idea Development Score Point 4, and Standard English Conventions Score Point 3 "I still cant believe we managed to pull this off." I said while looking at my older brother in admiration. My brother was to busy staring dreamily at the strange brown colered carpet an rolling on it. "What are you doing? I said curiously. "Oh I am merely feeling the amazing wonders of earth." My brother replied dreamely. "mmmmmmm" I deeply sniffed the carpet my wise brother called earth." It smells like … (I hesitated) flower pots." I said hoping my brother wouldn't shun me for stupidity like usuall. "Earth." My brother told me crisply. I pawed the green strands "this feels like a broom strand." I told my brother. His proper name is Marco but, he hates that name, I am called Polo I am not terribly fond of that name either so we just merely call each other brother. "its dark here, like the inside of a box!" I thought exitedly. "No, its better then a box." Marco said. I couldn't hear the rest of it because I was fully engaged in the dirt" I was okay. Suddenly he yanked me up sharply. "Shhh!" he said urgently. "What." I said bolting up on full alert. I heard foot steps steadily getting louder. I hear them getting quieter. I could felt my heart pounding. Before I new it I felt my fur getting drenched, I felt my eyes widen to the size of saucers, my body stiffened, my instincts told me to pounce but my Brother told me not to. It ended quickely almost as soon as it started. I shivered I do NOT like water, Most cats don't. It came again, my frozen body longed for heat and comfort." I wasn't so sure about this. "When I say go, make a run for it." Marco hissed "GO" I darted to the place my brother told me to go trailing after him. I was always slower than my brothers. I glanced around my new hiding place it was dusty, with cobwebs and old newspaper "I definantly do not like this." I thought in dismay. "Beyond thafence is the whole world, and it's just waiting for us." My wise brother thought.



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Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education Print Now | Close Window