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2018 MCAS
Grade 6 English Language Arts
Question 24

Idea Development - Score Point 5

The central idea of the essay is insightful, focusing on the discomfort and loneliness felt by Rinko and the speaker as a result of the expectations of family and peers. Evidence is skillfully selected and explained, clearly supporting the central idea. For example, Rinko is "'bound up in a silk cocoon and could hardly bend down.'" The discomfort manifests itself metaphorically as "Rinko is literally constricted with the Kimono and the Japanese way of life," and the speaker in Somewhere Among says, "'I am between two cultures, two languages, two time zones every day.'" The essay explains that "she [the speaker] is not comfortable with being a supposed 'half or double.'" Ideas are skillfully organized and explain the stages of the characters' feelings. The second body paragraph presents their experiences with loneliness. The conclusion extends ideas that the narrator and the speaker are "so much more than two races" and elaborates on the message that to "feel happy and complete . . . you have to feel proud of who you are." The writer demonstrates full awareness of the writing task.

Standard English Conventions - Score Point 3

The essay demonstrates consistent control of a variety of sentence structures. Consistent control of grammar, usage, and mechanics is evidenced. The few minor errors do not detract from meaning.
Answer for Idea Development Score Point 5, and Standard English Conventions Score Point 3 In A Jar of Dreams and in Somewhere Among both main characters feel that although they might think of themselves as an American the fact that they look Japanese seems to make them an outcast in their society. Both speakers feel discomfort and loneliness because of the expectations of their families and peers in relation to their heritages. In A Jar of Dreams paragraph 4 Rinko says "I felt as if I was bound up in a silk cocoon and could hardly bend down to put the tabi socks on my feet. It was hard to walk too, with the thongs of the zori-the sandals-digging in between my toes, and I discovered why Aunt Waka took those small steps when she walked" I believe this shows the dicomfort that Rinko has putting on something she doesn't feel okay with and I believe metaphorically that Rinko is literally constricted within the Kimono and the Japanese way of life. In Somewhere Among paragraph 25 the speaker says that " I am between two cultures, two languages,two time zones every day." This use of words seems to show you that she is not comfortable with being a supposed "half or double". One other example is when in parapgraph six to seven in A Jar of Dreams when Rinko says " I knew the exactly how Aunt Waka felt when we made her get into wetsern clothes. That's not me, I said" This shows discomfort since Aunt Waka is a Japanese who takes her heritage seriiously and hates to wear anything non Japanese. Rinko cannot believe the sight of herself when she looks in the mirror she is clearly uncomfortable and she thinks that she doesn't look like how she is comfortable in her body at that moment. Another feeling the main characters display to do with their heritage is loneliness. When Rinko's aunt tells Rinko that she will always be Japanese no matter what and Rinko tells her aunt that "I know," I said " It's the part that makes me feel different and not as good as the others" by others Rinko means her peers and this quote exprsses lonelines for she is basically telling her aunt she has nver felt comfortable with her schoolmates because of the fact that she is Japanese. A quote form Somewhere Among is " I sometimes feel alone on an island surround by multides of people. This tells you that she believes her ethnicity is seperating her from being normal. One more quote is from A Jar of Dreams " I didn't want Mama to be ignored by everyone and left sitting in a corner" this tells you that she is trying to protect her Mama from the loneliness she expierences everyday. My last quote shows you the raw feeling of Rinko " I hate always being different and left out" Rinko feels that because of the fact she is biracial she will never belong in either of her homelands. I believe the fact that that their societsy trys to isolate makes them make them believe that that is all they are when really they are so much more than two races. At the end of both passages the authors show a postive role model for each main character. The message is clear in both passages and that message is that if you want to feel happy and complete you have to believe in yourself and not follow the social bindings of your society and lastly you have to feel proud of who you are.



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Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education Print Now | Close Window